In what can only be described as a cheap, theatrical, and utterly absurd Hollywood-style display, Iran today staged what it claimed was a “decisive response” to the destruction of its nuclear facilities—by launching a laughably choreographed missile attack on the U.S. Al-Udeid Air Base in Qatar. This childish performance could easily be titled: “We fired the missiles—but told everyone in advance so no one would get hurt!”
Yes, these are the same deceitful, arrogant Iranian mullahs who have been chanting “Death to the Great Satan” (America) and “Death to the Little Satan” (Israel) since 1979, while vowing to “erase Israel from the map in seven and a half minutes.” Yet they were the very ones who reportedly sent advance warnings to Qatar, Saudi Arabia, the United States, and maybe even to Google Maps, politely informing them of the exact time and location of the “attack”—not so they could take cover, but so they could applaud.
President Donald Trump, watching the spectacle from the Situation Room as if it were a Disneyland parade, innocently commented: “I’d like to thank Iran for the early warning. No lives lost. No one injured. Let’s move on to peace!”
A Prearranged, Pathetic Response
From The New York Times to Reuters, and even President Macron, nearly all Western and Arab sources agreed: this was not a military retaliation, but a theatrical stunt. A premeditated performance aimed at helping Iran’s Supreme Leader and his bunker-dwelling clerical gang save face—while they preached “resistance” and “dignity” as they sought permission from their enemies to fire harmless “plastic fury.”
We’ve seen this movie before—specifically in January 2020, after Qassem Soleimani’s assassination. Back then, Iran “retaliated” by lobbing unarmed missiles at Ain al-Assad base in Iraq, in a carefully scripted performance designed to avoid casualties—and, more importantly, not to wake the Revolutionary Guards from their naps.
Resistance? Or Just a Failing Film Studio?
Iran today is no longer a nation in the traditional sense. It has become a failed film studio. The mullahs of Tehran don’t fight real wars—they perform them. Their missiles fly like props in a sci-fi movie: either intercepted mid-air, explode silently, or land harmlessly. Meanwhile, Iranian state TV airs “glorious victory” footage set to triumphant military music and accompanied by sound effects seemingly borrowed from a 1980s B-movie.
The result?
Zero injuries.
Zero American retaliation.
Zero impact on U.S. military operations in the region.
The only message Tehran managed to send was this: “We lack courage, but we have cameras and sound effects.”
Defeat Since 1979—But Who’s Counting?
For those with short memories, this isn’t a one-time act. These same delusional rulers, obsessed with wiping Israel “off the map in 7.5 minutes,” have only succeeded in having their own leaders and scientists eliminated—one after another—by pinpoint Israeli strikes. Israel has entered and exited Syria at will, assassinated Iranian commanders and nuclear experts from Tehran to Damascus, to Baghdad, Beirut, and Yemen. The U.S. has repeatedly crippled Iran’s nuclear infrastructure.
And Iran? It has responded with empty threats, followed by… “We gave you a heads-up so you could prepare.”
Iran: The Rogue State That Only Fights Its Own People
Let’s be blunt: The Islamic Republic doesn’t know how to fight its enemies, but it has mastered the art of brutalizing its own people. It leads the world in executions. It silences dissent. It lashes women, shuts down universities, bans music, restricts the internet, and would outlaw oxygen if it weren’t filtered through the Supreme Leader’s ideology. These laughable “pre-informed retaliations” might fool only the hopelessly naïve. Iran is not a resistance. It is not a symbol of values or principles. It is not liberation. It is farce. A rogue regime with a talent for media terrorism and a track record of consistent failure in every real military encounter.
The Bottom Line: Theater of the Absurd
When a state becomes rogue, its leaders become actors, its missiles become props, and its retaliations become prepaid performances, every Iranian “response” to serious American or Israeli military actions becomes nothing more than a commercial for delusion, hallucination, and empty bluster.
And in the end, President Trump thanked Iran’s Hollywood mullahs for their theatrical coordination. Perhaps Qatar should too. Because at this point, let’s face it: Hollywood isn’t in California anymore… it’s in Tehran.
